Why Ask When You Don't Want the Answer?

As a Registered Nurse I see a lot of things in the hospital. I have taken care of many people over the years but there is one thing that really annoys me…noncompliance. If you’re not quite sure what that means it’s simply not doing what you’re told. Every day people pour into emergency rooms, urgent care centers, and doctor’s offices to find out what’s wrong with them. That’s all fine and they should continue to do that but it’s useless if they don’t listen to what the doctors and nurses have to say and put it into action.

I have heard too many patients say that they feel better so they’re fine and want to go home. It’s understandable that they want to go home but just because they feel better doesn’t mean that they are better. So many want doctors and nurses to make them feel better but don’t’ care as much about fixing the problem that caused the illness in the first place. If you only treat the symptoms and not the problem there will be many more trips to the doctor for the same or corresponding reasons. If you don’t want answers and solutions then don’t ask the questions and don’t complain when you don’t get better or when you keep getting sick.

A few of the most common offenders are smokers, diabetics, and those with heart troubles. Smokers won’t/can’t quit, diabetics won’t eat right and take their medications as they should along with many other things, heart patients won’t lay off the salt and deep fried foods along with other heart-stopping foods and all three of these groups fail to change their lifestyle to improve or at least maintain their health. That may sound harsh, and it may be harsh but I’m being honest which is something that many of these patients of which I speak are not. They are not honest with their health care providers who are there solely to help but cannot do so without the cooperation of the patients themselves.

This has been a rant by your friendly neighborhood nurse. There is much more to say on this and similar subjects but I’ll save that for another rant.

Personal Goals

Personal goals are at the heart of each individual’s motivation. Without these goals, where would motivation come from? There are varying levels of goals we each set for ourselves or that are even set for us by our parents, family members, friends, and society. Accomplishing these personal goals gives us a sense of satisfaction and satisfaction is what I believe everyone is searching for in life.

For some people their personal goals are too personal to share with many others, if any other. Many of my goals aren’t of that nature and I will list a few of them below:

1.      Finish the first revision of my first novel

2.      Complete my secret project within a year’s time

3.      Help people to help other people ( www.myneedynation.com )

4.      Create a very active tight-knit community online that carries over into real life

In number four above I say “into real life” as though the internet isn’t part of reality when, in fact, it is. The internet is a huge part of real, everyday life. Even so, it seems that there is a disconnect between many who are friends online when it comes to the physical world. I would like to create a community that transcends this invisible barrier. However, creating that community is the challenge. What is the key to making people feel as though they are a valued member of a community? How do you let them know that they are an important piece to the puzzle?

There comes a point when the community grows and responding to each individual is virtually impossible. I suppose at this point there would need to be several crawlers (moderators) who are active members of the community and who are willing to reply to the comments left by the other members. Perhaps one day I will achieve this goal along with the other members. Perhaps you will be a part of this if this is the sort of community you think you would like to be a part of.

Loss and Mourning

Recent events have prompted my brain juices to flow in the direction of loss and mourning and what the purpose of mourning really is. Yesterday, March 14^th, 2012, a 21 year-old young man was transporting a woman to her dialysis appointment in an ambulance. For an unknown reason the young man failed to slow down behind a commercial flatbed truck carrying lumber. The ambulance was crushed as it barreled into the bed of the truck and lumber from the flatbed was forced through the driver’s side of the windshield of the ambulance and reached halfway through the length of the vehicle. Both the 21 year-old young man and the woman he was transporting were killed.

With that happening just yesterday morning I began thinking of the tragedies that I read and hear about in the news occurring every day. I will attempt to avoid any clichés in this post but it may prove to be difficult. I know loss from my own experiences and I know how I deal with it in various situations. To each his or her own. I believe, however, that there is a universal purpose for mourning which each person shares. I will reveal that reason near the end of this post so stay tuned.

Being 29 years of age, I have experienced more loss in terms of loved ones, both family and friends, passing away than I believe I or anyone should. I will list them here for the sake of their memories: my mother and father have both passed, both my grandmother and grandfather on my mother’s side as well as my grandmother and grandfather on my father’s side, an aunt, an uncle, and four friends—three lost in war within recent years and one lost by his own hand.

It wasn’t until 2005 at a flea market that I was given the answer I had sought for years. Many may already know this but many more still do not and for that reason I will share it with you hear the way that it was shared with me in a small book shop housed within a massive flea market here in Ohio. I was looking for biographies to buy and study their format to see if I could possibly write a dual biography for two of my friends with whom I had served in the Army just a few days before they were killed by a suicide car bomber in Iraq. As I was skimming the shelves for an appealing spine and title an older gentleman approached me and asked if I needed help finding anything in particular. I told him what I was looking for and why and what he told me changed my outlook from that day on.

This kind gentleman told me that we mourn not for those who have passed before us but for ourselves and those of us left behind to live the rest of this life without them. We will have to endure the trials and triumphs without the kind words and congratulations of the ones we have lost. There are at least several deeper discussions I could go into here about specific words being used and how they may not necessarily be the best to use but it is the accepted phrasing but I will leave that as a potential topic of another blog for a later day.

We do not know what is coming or when, how, or why but we must have faith that there will be a tomorrow for those who love and care for us even if we are not there to suffer and/or celebrate with them.  

Working With Relationships

In this post I will attempt to explain the stream of thoughts that ran through my head the other morning regarding relationships (all kinds: friendships, love interests and marriages, business relationships, etc.) which should allow each of us to better prepare for future relationships as well as improve existing ones. Don’t worry, it isn’t as boring as it sounds…I hope. I’ll do my best to be entertaining as well as informative and enlightening.

1.      You must be willing to be hurt by others, because they will hurt you at some point.

-       We have all been hurt by those we care about. It may or may not have been an awful thing that was done to us but we were hurt emotionally, mentally, socially, financially, or otherwise. But because we care for these people we forgive them, most of the time. It is inevitable that we will experience some form of pain inflicted by each of those we care about because we care about them. They may even do something to themselves (drug abuse, alcohol abuse, anorexia, bulimia, getting involved in relationships that we know are not safe, etc.) but that which we do to ourselves not only affects us but also those who care about us.  

2.      You must be willing TO hurt others, because you will.

-       As stated above it is inevitable. We will be blinded by love and be consumed by things of this world or even by ourselves and will forget about those around us who care. We may feel they are only thinking of themselves and not our own needs. This way of thinking on our part will cause those who care about us pain and suffering to some extent. We must realize that by developing a relationship with others we make them vulnerable to the results of our decisions. That which we do may affect them in some way. Cause and effect.

3.      You must be willing to be vulnerable when necessary.

-       As I noted in the previous point once we develop a relationship with someone we ourselves become vulnerable to the consequences of their decisions and actions. Of course not all actions on another’s part will affect us each time but I am speaking in generalities.

4.      You must be willing to listen, even when you’re upset/mad/furious and don’t want to.

-       This is a very difficult thing to do but we must consciously think about this in the moment that we are upset and control ourselves. We will not always be successful in doing this but as long as we are trying and working on improving ourselves it will get better and better. Listening and trying to understand is the cornerstone of all relationships in my opinion.

5.      You must be willing to compromise when necessary.

-       Another very important concept in every relationship whether personal or professional is that of compromise. If everyone had to get their way every time then no one would work together. Compromise is not necessarily giving in to the wishes of someone else. Compromise is showing your character as a person and your willingness to work with others to accomplish a common goal. It also shows that you care about the relationship with that other person and are willing to make sacrifices. That’s not to say that you should be the only one making compromises. That would lead to resentment and could potentially lead to lowered self-respect and sense of self-worth.  

For those of you who read this, I hope you will be challenged to think about the topics I present and care enough to comment. I would like for this plot of Internet where I have staked my claim to become an interactive piece of the massive creature that is the World Wide Web. I do have several other areas within the Internet. In my previous post, published on 11 March 2012, I listed several of them for those who would like to continue to get to know me in my various settings (I will include links to them again at the end of this post.). As I said in that post, I, along with most everyone else, have many sides and depending upon the setting I will show a certain side. Therefore, in order to really get to know me one must follow me around the Internet and see how I conduct myself, the thoughts I choose to share, and the questions I pose to those who may be listening/reading what I have put out there for all to consider.

That being said, I have follow-up thoughts to my previous post. Being that I am human and need to gain the attention of others in order to feel a sense of worth and being, I encourage all who read this to comment on all my posts, my videos on YouTube, and go to the website I created for the sole purpose of helping others for no reason in particular. Subscribe to my blog, YouTube channels, and become a member of my website and share these with your friends and family. A community can be built through these and we could do great things.

My Website: http://www.myneedynation.com

My Vlog: http://www.youtube.com/professordraekko

My Main Channel “The Bjorn Theory”: http://www.youtube.com/thebjorntheory

Keek: http://www.keek.com/XposingMe

Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/ethanpariseau

What Does It Take To Matter To Other People?

What does it take to matter to other people? What does one have to do? As a member of the human race I require attention from other people to help me express myself as well as feel as though I am expressing myself. I want others to know some of my opinions and respond with their own. I like to make connections with others. This new blog I am trying my hand at is another experiment to try and get people to care about what I have to say and respond with what they have to say.

Like so many others I am a different person in my own mind than I am out in the open world. I have a different thinking pattern as well as a different speaking pattern within my own mind. Most times thoughts sound much better when they are said in my own mind than when the words are translated into actual speech. Writing is the closest form through which my thoughts can be accurately conveyed. Still it is not perfect. But until Apple or Microsoft create an application for the cell phone that can capture my thoughts exactly and copy them for others to consume I will have to attempt to let people see me and my thoughts here, or at least in this form.

If you should so desire, you may compare and contrast my personality as I am here in the written world and in real life (or IRL for those of you who speak contemporary social networking jargon). I do create video logs (vlogs) on YouTube as so many others do. You may view those at the following web address: http://www.youtube.com/professordraekko You may subscribe to that channel if you would like to know when a new vlog has been posted. At the time of this first post to this new experimental blog I have created and posted approximately 96 videos on the above listed channel, which is also entitled Xposing Me.

Microvlogs are another little thing I do and can be found at http://www.keek.com/XposingMe These are 36 second-or-less videos meant to be used as a status update. It is a cross between Twitter and YouTube. Which reminds me, I have a Twitter account also http://www.twitter.com/ethanpariseau

If you have noticed, and I’m sure you have because you’re smart and observative (no that isn’t a real word but I don’t know of a real word that captures the same meaning…you know what I mean) then you have noticed, with the exception of the Twitter account, the recurring title “XposingMe.” That is essentially what I am doing by creating these vlog, microvlogs, and blog posts. I am exposing myself to any who care to know who I am. There are many personal details I will not divulge for safety’s sake but rather I am exposing my thoughts and personality.

Not all blog posts will be this lengthy as I have read that the average blog post should be just a few shorter paragraphs so as to not lose the attention of the readers. If you have made it this far then I thank you for taking the precious time that it costs to thoughtfully read and consider another person’s work. Stay tuned for more blog posts coming soon.